About
The Bachelor of Hockey Smut at The University of Sexology is an elite, highly selective four-year Guild Program bridging the intersection of contemporary dynamic literature and professional ice athletics. Designed for candidates who embody both intellectual sophistication and supreme physical endurance, the programme combines advanced English literary theory with up to 80 hours a week of grueling on-ice conditioning. With a curriculum spanning trope dissection, romantic tension mechanics, tactical puck handling, and full-contact dynamic play, this premier qualification positions student-athletes at the absolute frontier of literary scholarship and competitive sport.
Program Structure
The Bachelor of Hockey Smut is a four-year, full-time intensive Guild degree structured across two distinct cohort streams: the Summer Draft (commencing Semester 1) and the Winter Draft (commencing Semester 2). To qualify for entry, students must have successfully completed their foundational arts prerequisites, in addition to either an intensive academic bridging track in hockey literature or a practical track requiring a certified minimum of 1,000 hours of prior on-ice hockey experience. The curriculum demands an unforgiving weekly schedule balancing high-level English seminars in dynamic narrative structure with up to 80 hours of power-skating, body checking, and high-intensity tactical drills.
Pictured: Heated Rivalry, a core textbook for our syllabus.
Practicum & Draft Vetting
In place of standard internships, students undergo continuous professional draft conditioning monitored by clinical athletic staff and literary review panels. To maintain standing and ensure eligibility for professional league entry, all candidates must regularly pass intensive Panel and Fitness Interviews, undergo comprehensive Police Vetting, and submit to mandatory STI screenings and health checks conducted every semester. Advanced students take part in high-stakes dynamic scrimmages and live-action narrative simulations designed to prepare them for both the physical brutality of the rink and the psychological complexities of dynamic sports culture.
Pictured: A hot man.
Career Opportunities
Graduates of the Bachelor of Hockey Smut are uniquely trained to enter the upper ranks of professional sports and media. The vast majority of alumni are drafted directly into the Anthro Hockey League (AHL), earning starting salaries between $100,000 and $180,000 NZD per annum. Elite graduates maintaining exceptional academic and athletic standing also establish the foundational eligibility required to apply for the highly restricted Master of Hockey Arts (MHocA), unlocking NHL draft potential with compensation ranging from $750,000 to $13,000,000 NZD per annum.
Pictured: The game of one of our alumni.
Course structure
An interdisciplinary major combining hockey-focused creative writing, cultural analysis, queer performance, athletic development, and professional arts practice. Students develop advanced research, narrative, performance, and portfolio skills while engaging with hockey culture, identity, media, and creative production.
Meet the team
At the University of Sexuality, our programs are led by world-class specialists dedicated to delivering the highest calibre of education in every discipline. In keeping with The Douchewater Way, this faculty does not merely oversee your degree—they actively teach across your foundational courses to ensure every subject is directly tailored to your professional pathway. With great pride, we introduce the academic leadership for this program.
Head of Program
Dyl Doegh-Ryder
