About
Dr Ummm AucklandInternationalAirport has a traumatic backstory: she was born in the men's restroom of the Auckland International Airport to an unknown beta male by mpreg. The male, who did not know he was pregnant, held her up: "ummmm", he said before attempting to flush her down the toilet. It just so happened that a newly wedded Sir Isaak Schatt-Onyuu, the Course Coordinator for the Bachelor's of Hockey Smut, was on his way back from a trip to Japan and ate a bad onigiri on the plane. He burst into the men's room and emptied his bowels into the first toilet he could find - unfortunately covering a newborn Ummm in fecal matter.
This gave Ummm a life-long scat fetish and lust for Sir Schatt-Onyuu. One of the shit particles got stuck behind her eye, so as an undergraduate she extracted it and ran a DNA test to find out who she had been lusting over. She promptly moved to Tauranga to peruse him, enrolling in the Bachelor's of Hockey Smut. They grew close, and Isaak, a bisexual, grew to appreciate Ummm's features. However, he refused to deflower her due to his commitment to his husband. In anguish, she spiked his morning onigiri with uranium she swiped from the University of Sexology Med School. Unfortunately this gave Sir Schatt-Onyuu cancer, which inspired a change in careers for Ummm. Overwhelmed with guilt and a desire to help her love, she pivoted to medicine, fast-tracked all 6 years of medical school in only 2, and became a practicing radiologist. Dr Melanie Douchewater observed Ummm's intellect, and offered her a teaching position at the University's medical school.
Roles
Lecturers - Master's of Medicine
Contact
+64 27 1673 8836
Room 411, Melanie Douchewater Centre, The University of Sexology Tauranga Campus